5 Valuable Life Lessons From Dog Training
Our 2-year-old female Cavapoo is adorable – at least we think so.
But it’s not all roses, unicorns and rainbows.
As it’s clearly more fun for her off-lead than on-lead, she’s refusing to come near me and my lead at the end of playtime.
That’s resulted in me having to keep her on the lead for every walk. Which is utterly frustrating for both of us. She can’t just explore an attractive scent as long as she wants, and I get impatient when we only manage 3 meters in 15 minutes.
When she’s off lead, at least we both feel we get more of what we need.
Now, since I’m knee-deep into dog-specific training with the amazing Emma, I couldn’t help but realise that there are some amazing lessons to learn for us humans.
Especially when we’re working on changing a habit or creating intentional results in our life.
1 Set yourself up for success
On the surface, the most straightforward training would be to reward my canine friend anytime she comes near me and my lead.
Tried that, but that alone doesn’t do the trick.
Our dog trainer pointed out a few related areas that could prevent any lead training from sticking: not enough stimulation at home (the lead signals end of playtime for the day!), her unease with having put the harness on, possibly not long enough time spent on walks etc.
The same is true in our lives. What related areas need to be addressed to achieve your goals?
For example, if you want to start running 3 times a week, what else will have to give? What else will you have to put in place, or prepare so that your mind won’t talk you out of your next run?
Or if you decide to lose weight, it’s easy to say just eat less. You may get a huge sense of comfort from overeating. So you might want to explore how else you can generate the sense of comfort without having to involve food.
2 Celebrate every win, however small
With the leash training, the win I’m after is that she’s just comfortable getting back on the lead. Sadly, from where we are right now, that’s too big a jump.
So it’s super important that I reward her for every step towards the big goal, even if it seems minuscule.
The same is true for us changing anything in our lives. If we only deem the big wins worthy of celebrating, we might never get to celebrate them.
Pointing our minds towards small wins helps release dopamine in our brains. The more hits of dopamine we can ignite on our way to our desired results, the faster we’ll make them happen, and the more fun we’ll have.
Say you stayed calm when your son didn’t want to put school shoes on: YAY 🙌 Take it as a win towards you having the relationship with your child you desire.
Or maybe you tidied one corner of a messy room: Yippieee 🙌 It’s a win towards the clutter-free home that you want.
3 It’ll take as long as it needs to – until it’s done!
The training for our dog to be happy with the lead will take at least 12 weeks. That’s 12+ weeks of doing all the things repeatedly. Over and over again. Day after day.
And that’s ‘just’ to get her happy to go back on the lead.
That’s no quick fix. And that’s ok.
Anything, literally ANYTHING worth having means patience, compassion (with self and others) and discomfort. Yes, it’s not comfortable, and that’s ok.
So, strap yourself in for the ride. And decide that your work in that area won’t be done until it’s achieved.
For example, if your weight isn’t dropping off as fast or effortlessly as you’d like to, that’s ok. Keep going, Your job on that front isn’t done until you’ve got the result you’re after. Stay calm and compassionate with yourself.
Or if your business isn’t as successful as you want or need it to be yet, that’s ok. Evaluate the lessons you can learn from your wins and ‘failures’, and keep on going. You’re not done until you have the results you’re after.
4 Reward the positive behaviour, ignore the negative
As part of dog training, we use a marker word to direct the dog from an unwanted behaviour to a more favourable one. So, when the dog responds to the marker word, it’s treat time!
Say my dog is about to jump up at another dog walker and I use the marker word. If she gives me intention instead of jumping up, she gets a treat.
However, if the dog shies away from the lead yet again, that’s ok. She doesn’t get a treat, we move on and try again at the next opportunity.
That’s also the most compassionate way to treat ourselves while we’re creating our desired results.
Let’s say you’ve agreed with your partner to do weekly date nights to feel connected. The date night in itself will be a reward for sticking with your plan. But when you skip one or two of your date nights because life got busy, that’s ok! Just pick up where you left off.
You could even explore what made you stop, and decide what you can put in place so that you’re less likely to skip your valuable “couple time”.
5 It’s ok to get help
With our dog, we had already googled what we could do to improve the situation. There are so much amazing resources available.
And yet, we decided to not DIY the solution.
We decided that it’d be more successful, faster and more thorough to get someone to help who can take a thorough holistic view of our particular situation. Not to forget the accountability when (not if) we fall off the wagon…
That’s always available for you too.
Book a consult with me here to see how I can help you create your desired results you’re after in any or all areas of your life.
Carola Moon is on a mission to help ambitious and capable women succeed in those life situations where their brains tell them they don't have what it takes to cope. Carola is the women's clarity coach, busting her client's wonky thoughts about who they are and helping them create the impactful lives they crave. She believes it’s indeed possible to have your cake and eat it!
She has a master's degree (MA) in sociology and psychology, is a certified Co-Active Coach (CPCC) located in South Oxfordshire, UK, and works with her clients worldwide. Do you think you’ll benefit from working with Carola? Book a consult to find out.