Does your work validate you?
The other day I saw a video with Rachel & Dave Hollis, where they talked about fear and the different approaches of Rachel and Dave to deal with fear. Rachel is showing an amazingly positive spin on things, pivoting all the negative thoughts into positive beliefs.
Just like Mel Robbin's "Think this, not that" , which I talked about in my article on "Ready for a new way to create your Business Success? Try DayDream Journalling", Rachel demonstrates choosing empowering beliefs over disempowering ones.
I say 'choose' deliberately, because she actively decides on beliefs that help her move forward.
Wouldn't you much rather believe "I can rebuild my business and community at any time. I have done it before and I can do it again, much faster because I know how to do it!", rather than "I can lose my business at any time, I'd hate that if that was to happen!"
Furthermore, what stuck with me and stuck with me since watching Rachel's & Dave's video was when she stated with vehemence: "I'm not validated by the things I have created! I'm whole and complete on my own."
"I'm not validated by the things I have created!"
What a powerful statement. I certainly have been feeling the ups and downs that seem to come with my work successes (or lack thereof). Easy when I get to celebrate successes; yet extremely disheartening when I 'fail' or things go badly.
Watching Rachel be so sure and trusting of herself made me want to say: "I'll have what she's having!" (Ta, "When Harry Met Sally").
What does it take to KNOW your self-worth?
Consider that we are all unconditionally loveable and enough – independent of any actions we take, any achievements we make, whether we realise our dreams or decide not to. Unconditionally!
We're a decision and some personal growth away from knowing that this is true!
So, how do we create the detachment of our self-worth from our performance at work or in life in general? I believe the route to increase our sense of self-worth is primarily through self-love.
Self-Worth through Self-Love
Giving ourselves the unconditional love and acceptance that feeds us. That may look like allowing ourselves a break when we're run down. And it may be listening to our own self-pity with compassion when things have gone wrong. Allowing ourselves to feel all that is coming up – the good, the bad and the ugly – without judgement or 'having to pull ourselves together'.
It's like carefully planting the seed of self-worth by tending to our needs of being listened to, of being fed positive thoughts and nourishing foods and of being trusted to flourish in perfect timing. And then, one day, we'll suddenly notice the first little leaves of self-worth peeking out above the ground and with our continued care and attention it grows into a strong leafy tree that can weather all kinds of storms.
A word on trust
While we build our self-worth muscle through loving acceptance of all that we are – yes, including all the realities and behaviours we don't particularly appreciate about ourselves – it's trust that helps to endure dry spells: Trusting that all will work out, trusting that we're exactly where we are meant to be, and trusting that we're all naturally creative, resourceful and whole to (re-)create anything we dream of.
Resilience from within
By choosing to love, accept and trust ourselves, we bolster ourself so much that we feel a strong sense of self-worth.
Didn't land that big gig you've been working on?
Dang!
Ok.
What's next?
This is resilience from within. No having to outwardly pretend you're ok.
Having filled up your self-worth through self-love, you sure may be disappointed at first to not have succeeded. And then you trust yourself that you learn from this experience, and build yourself up to the next, possibly much better gig! And you trust that you will ace it too!
Over to you
What do you feel inspired to allow to fill your self-worth cup?
Comment below 👇
Wishing you an awesome day,
“I am here to help you Own Your Awesome!”
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And if you feel inspired to, connect to see how we can work together.